You deserve it. End of Story

i wrote this the day u went away.

I know i fucked up in some way and the only things a=i could think of is these few things. and i will rectify them now,

Your sister left you when u needed her the most. I will never. I will always be by your side. I'll be your sky so whenever you look up. I'll be there to catch you.

Your past boyfriend locked you up and that past week i know you kinda felt that way. Never again. I'll bring you out and nobody is going to ever tell me different because they're gonna have to accept it. They're gonna have to accept you because i said so, and they should love you because i love everything about u. Everything.

end.

I'm sorry. If u dont think u deserve me. I think differently. I dont care if u think u dont. I think you do. if you really say that you've fallen for me, then prove it. Dont run away. Dont be in denial. Prove it. Cause i swear if u back out and leave unknowingly of how it might have worked out, i will be in so much pain. Pain u cant imagine. So if you ever think that you're gonna be bad for me, then think again cause without u, it's gonna be worse. I love you baby. No matter what i still will. Forever and ever babe.

Dead inside

I feel like the title of this post. I feel hollow and i feel like i cant see the future anymore. This is not because of you, i know that.... you were the catalyst, u made it happen but you're not the cause. i have been the pillar of strength for so many that i forget how it is to be strong, not appear strong. it happened to me long before this. I am lost and i want to be found. but there is nobody. I dont blame u. I was stupid as fuck to believe that i was special. i should stop doing that. i am not special to anyone. Nor will i ever be. This poem is about me and how i see the world.  It cant stop. I will no longer be able to stop those thoughts and death is creeping up to me now. Again and again i try to stop it, but i cant. No not anymore. I wont stop it anymore.

i cant look up at the sky
it bleeds it cries cries cries
i cant see the sun
i can no longer run run run

i can no longer feel
my hair fall or my skin peel
i feel the songs about to end
no change of heart to bend

i think he's coming to get me
i can feel him, close as can be
creeping he is, slowly churning
pulling me down, lovely burning

i cant write anymore, no more.. i will finish this soon... i cant now...i just cant.

The Wind

Very simple i can see
that your smile has set me free
So much so i know the pain
of not being able to feel again

i felt so much within this time
so much so i can no longer rhyme
so the airs i breathe can no longer be
the air that you should share with me

u made me laugh, u made me smile
and all i could think was u, for awhile
and then u go, like the wind
disappearing from under my skin

the trees will continue to grow
but im sure u will continue to blow
the winds u are and shall never stop
even when the misty mountains drop

there are people who say out loud
that the wind blows loud and proud
the way we see the world will die
is when the wind tells a lie

what became of loud and proud
the people would say its just a cloud
promising all, ever joy
leaves me a dry and lonely boy

i'd kill those people who told me lies
who sent me out here to die
and this is my, last protest
before i stab this knife to my chest

Before i go, i throw the blame
you should really be ashamed
of all the lies u told to me
about never having the need to leave

i cant take 4 more years
of these warm, bloody tears
this is my last goodbye
hey at least i can say i tried

the warmth i miss
the wanted kiss
the voice so tender
the dead befriender

i want so much for the winds to stop
where i am on the roofs atop
take away, this breaking pain
so much, so i can feel again.
Cynthia