Eternal slumber

i miss you. i miss your terribly. With tears rolling down my cheeks, muscles straining and funny sounds coming from my mouth, i miss you. Quivering in darkness of my mind once again made lonely by the absence of you. The last three months however tormenting was in actuality, bliss for my soul and i had hoped for more than empty words of trial and tribulations. I had hoped that you would have tried harder or even longer.... I wished in all my soul that we could grow old together and as i am writing this now, i am crying like a little boy. Tears in this has resulted from me being hopeful again when i had swore never to be, after my heart got shattered into dust just 3 years before and now, after trying drastically to put it together it has been vaporized once again. I now can no longer feel warm. I can no longer feel anything. I wanted to make things right. i wanted to help you change yourself into something better. Fix your family, fix your friends and fix Justin. With fixing your family, our new family can be formed and your path to a career can be formed too. With fixing your friends, bonds and memories can be created and with fixing Justin, I could have time with you and him and never have to choose. We had to sacrifice seeing each other for a while. I dont understand why distance has to affect our love. I love you all the same no matter the distance, in fact, i'd love you more with distance. But i guess u had just decided not to try. I had let go of everything and gave i all to u and u decide not to try. i dont wanna go on. i dont wanna live this wretched life. I am going away. im going to my eternal slumber now. Good bye.