Heart Stop

my steps are getting faster, but my heart is getting slower, slowing down, until theres no beat left... so much pain, but i keep walking, cause theres a reason, How much can i take, my heart is stopping, my life is draining into the ground, yet i still walk, why? cause i have to, i cant let my heart stop, i have to keep walking, although i know when i reach my destination, i'll die. Should i walk, yes... there's no point asking, i'm not gonna tell u what this is about, When i die, they'll know that i kept on walking, and that i didnt stop.


Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Rasa kecewa di dalam dada.

its so testing, this month, and the next

i'm almost done yeah, almost finished.

having terrible dreams lately.

having very bad days.

and yet, i come home alone.

every day, this month.

When u were here before, couldnt look u in the eye
you're just like an angel, skin makes me cry
you float like a feather in a beautiful world
i wish i was special, so very special
i'm a creep i'm a weirdo,
what'm i doing here, i dont belong here
i don't care for looks, i wanna have control
i wan a perfect body, i want a perfect soul
iwant you to notice when i'm not around,
so very special, i wish i was special
Whatever makes u happy, whatever you want
so very special, i wish i was special
but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo
i don't belong here.

I am tired, i need to know i belong again.

End.

The earth, the sky, angels and friends.

Imagine losing someone u love, and a friend on the same night. Both of these things i have lost before, i lost someone i loved back when i was in form 5, it hurt real bad until i found chin, but now i feel we're falling apart, just like before it's because of me. One of my closest friends who left before without telling me, left again today. so many memories i have held dear, before anyone, and in the distant past. These two things have moved me enough to blog again when i gave up hope on my so called talent. i never had talent i had problems. i never loved writing i loved expression but these two things made me write again, i hate that he had to leave again. i hate that she had to feel this way, i hate that again i was at fault. i'm so sorry.

Part 1

to my life line, my rock to support me in sinking sand, my earth as i am your sky.

I love you, i cherish you, i never want to lose u, i would never be able to live without your smile and your laugh and your hai yo! i would never be able to feel anything but the sorrow of being without you, i'd rather be alone than be with someone else, i'd always want you. i'm sorry for these frequent coincidences, i can't control the world. but i want you to know no matter how much the world gets to me, i'd always be happy when u're happy with me. i'd always be happy when you're around i'd always be happy when u're near, because i know that u love me too. The best thing about love, is having someone love u back. i'll die when u walk away, buts whats worse than dying? whats worse than dying is living, living to watch u walk away. i'd never forgive myself. i'm sorry, i'm just asking for help and forgiveness and a chance to be like last time. we need to be strong until u finish ur exams and i'm sure we'll be able to work things out, we just need to be strong, i'll help u if u'll help me. i know how u are feeling trust me i've been there, its not nice, i'm sorry i don't want to make u feel this way, this would be my final plea. i really do love you, more than i ever have and you'l never be able to find some one else that loves you as much, not ever. it is because i love you like the sky loves the earth even though its dying it still protects the earth, even though i'm dying i will always give u the tender care u need and the protection to what ever that may harm u, even urself, remember?

God sent an angel, and that angel was me
i shined a light, bright as can be
To protect a soul and that soul was you
To protect your body, your heart and all u hold true

Fell so in love as an angel could love
To be rejected by the father above
Never thought an angel could love
As i fell from the skies above

A soul so beautiful, so kind so pure
A soul so bright, any sickness it would cure
I fell in love as i had my first sight
Just as i had when i saw Gods light

An angel would fall to be human
Just to be in love with this beautiful woman
This woman's name is Lim Chin Lee
And oh my god that angel was me.

Part 2
I have not much to say about my best friend except for the times we had the things we did, and the stuff he taught me, thank you my friend and i will see you soon.

i hope you remember the times we had
cause i know for sure i'll never forget.

i know i havent been close to you for the past year or so but you're still my best friend.

End.

PS: i love u honey, and i sorta love u homey in a friend way la bro!
its not like any of you would read this anyway.

Walking

why do we walk? why do we run, why do we do the things in life we need not do? I'm starting to ask myself these questions all over again, i've been through shit in my life, through many bad spots, and in one long bad run, in these few months i've known ups and downs, i feel like talking now to someone i can, and would listen, don't talk just listen, but have yet to find one. that just listens, call me maybe u can listen, but i doubt it.

I asked God

You told me it'd be sweet if i wrote this myself, so i did

I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked for an angel and he gave me you.



I love you fey

Chin-ness!!!

Smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you
Near to me.
Don't ever let me find you down, cause that would
Bring a tear to me.
This world has lost its glory, lets start a brand
New story now, my love.
Right now, there'll be no other time and I can show
You how, my love.

Talk in everlasting words, and dedicate them all to
Me.
And I will give you all my life, I'm here if you
Should call to me.
You think that I don't even mean a single word i
Say.
Its only words, and words are all I have, to take
Your heart away