I'm sooooo sweeeetttttt!!

Ken made the Princess wait. For nothing.

Never again

Ken put entertaining his friends first before the Princess’s needs.

Switch!

Ken drank more than he should have.

Just don’t.

Ken didn’t feed the hungry Princess.

Feed the Princess, even if she isn’t hungry.

Ken was inconsiderate of the Princess’s feelings.

Will treat the Princess’s feelings like breathing.

Ken failed to watch a movie with the Princess, like he said they would.

Ken will watch whatever movie the Princess wants, chick flicks and all. Twice if he has to.

Ken didn’t reply or call back the Princess’s constant and loving tries at communication.

Will lead a better telecommunication life.

The way i feel tonight

i wish my life was a song, cause songs they never die...i could write for years and years and never have to cry, i'd show u how i feel without saying a word i could wrap up both our hearts i know it sounds absurd, and i saw the tears on ur face, i'd shot u down, and i slammed the door but couldn't make a sound, so please stay sweet my dear, don't hate me now, i can't tell how this last song ends...

The way i feel tonight, so down, so down, i pray that i could swim just so i won't drown, in the waves that crash over me, I'm gasping for air, take my hand so that i can breath, as i write this last song down, and then i saw the tears on your face, as i shot you down, and i slammed the door but couldn't make a sound, So please stay sweet my dear, don't hate me now, I really can't tell how this last song ends.

The broken glass , your moisten skin, was everything, was everything.
And your broken voice was quivering, you're everything, you're everything
Scream at me , make it the best i've ever heard
Laugh out loud i know it sounds absurd
You're everything, You're everything
Heart beats slowing, pains are growing
Does she love you? Thats worth knowing....

You....

SHHHH.

haha. i hacked into leecheungken's blog. it's fun. DAMN IT HAHAH.
and oh well, no salty salty woi chi mui.

- kinky chi mui ;D

Take my Hand so i can breath

Please stay sweet my dear,

its funny when u suddenly showed up into my life, never have i seen such a person, so same, but yet different i know that you hide certain things in your life, certain things that i guess you don't want people to see, and i love that, i am smitten i can say. Its in your eyes where i find peace, peace in my own world, everything else blurrs out when i look at you, thats how i know, after so long. You all know how i write i pour out thoughts, no matter how many things I've heard, how many things i know u did, doesnt really matter, i really know that i am a person that doesnt easily find someone, and i don't fall so easily, and i know that its the same, the same everytime i do it, its the same everytime i am smitten everytime i am different, i treat u diferent from how i treat other people, and i know because i don't care how u look or how u act as long as u arent what i don't want to see in you, yes i'm different, yes i'm abit nuts and yes i'm very straight foward, but i dont open up very easily, and havent yet with you, its hard for i don't know for sure if its mutual. its been awhile since i've gone and fuck things up, just like i always do, but it dissapears when i'm with you.

An answer to a question...

If your life story as made into a film directored and acted out by your favorite actor/actresses. How do you want your feminity and masculinity to be projected on screen?

To directly answer that question, it would be tremendously difficult. The answer I’m going to give you is going to be full of what I think of masculinity and feminity, my characters and how the film will portray a person’s certain gender.

My characters will not be projected in a direct way, of course my character would be a man but this man isn’t a bold, adventurous, strong or even brave. He is me, the sleeper. The person that is in every class, every tutorial, everywhere, a person that is left alone, a person with no one to talk to, the loner if you must say. Although sense of masculinity is always present, the audience will definitely know he is a man, boy, male. And surely enough he doesn’t come to class, he loves the world, outside this one, his own little world that he lives in everyday, he loves his world outside of school.

If so happen my life would be made into a film, audience will not know his pain until they realize that in some point of their own lives, they have felt exactly the same, especially the first day of work, where unfriendly eyes meet you in every direction, No one really to confide your fear, phobia and uneasy-ness to. And yet when people look at him, they can sense that he is a loner he has no friends, but still he is strong and his will is what brings him through life, that is masculinity to me, the ability to prove yourself or to survive through dark and lonely times and stay stagnant, unmoved by the rigors of life. That is masculinity, to be able to live life, and in between, laugh about the good parts and still continue to suffer life as it is.

In the end of my movie the audience will understand that this boy has had enough with his life although only being at the age of probably 25, not married, no friends, useless job and mostly unhappy and depressed, that is what happens to people that have no will, or just have taken too much punishment in their lives. Those are truly depressed people. My character will be projected as a person drifting through time with only the masculinity given to him by his natural gender and probably by his age, rigors that he has been through and his independent lifestyle. Masculinity is but a heritage and masculinity is only a cover, a mask of your true self esteem.

Hope is actually masculinity hidden under the sheets of shallowness

And Hope guides us through our Darkest Times and our Toughest Toils

The title is below

The Lonely Velvet Road

There is hole inside of me, a vacant space, I cannot live with out my own, my story has been faded into dust, I cannot breath, I cannot live anymore, there isn’t a point.

A story of a boy on a string, Never once in his life has he proved them wrong, Never has he felt so kept up, he has been kept up his whole life, and just wants to break free. So many years of deep depression and inner instability makes him what he is today, the scared, the easily angered, and the complicated little boy. Complicated in the sense of he lacks the inner stability that would make his life more simple more motivated more successful. This little boy is me.

He lacked the simple values of courtesy towards his parents; he lacked the will to keep his word. He wanted to help himself more than he wanted to suppress them, he sees no wrong in wanting to break free, he sees no wrong in wanting to help himself , he sees no wrong in being selfish for the moment for he is very, very hurt and tortured by the feeling of never being free. He needs to find the very meaning of his existence, why his play was ever written for him, for the world. Never wanting to be in his position, his life wasn’t intended to be like this, his life that he would have written it would have been more flowery, and yet his father said something about reality to him today, he cannot seem to find meaning in that word, that little boy is me.

He was just interrupted by his mother and now has lost his concentration, he will continue this…I don’t know what he would call it. He will call it a night, and continue tomorrow, he never meant for this to happen, it just did, he has seemingly found something but that something is what is causing him to rebel, restrictions for this break month, to find himself he has to do it on his own, to find something not with the help of his parents or his sibling or a professional, more of something he has to find with the freedom of his break month, all they can do is give me the time to find what’s missing, and what is the filling of the vacant spot, he doesn’t know yet, he needs to find it himself, this little boy must find the screw that holds him together, the meaning in life not practical, but spiritual and more of his inner self. He has to find meaning to the life of this little boy, the reason to go on, to start living again, and to finally not want to die.

(Cont)

Every Night I fall Asleep And This is All I Dream

Having arrived at this moment, I’m still the same
Alone, Alone, I'm still hurt
I don’t dare to think too much
Because I’m all by myself
Facing moonlight, it draws out the silhouette
Walking by the boundless and endless street
Love me, don’t go
You don’t love me
I don't wanna know
Give me warmth again
And this night, will erase the other is for sure
I don’t hear you anymore
Because I’m all by myself
Because I’m thinking of you...

Because I'm already Dead

The sweetest thing

Funny eh how life works? Its just so ever changing, one day we are doing things that make us feel good, but we know its bad... the next thing we knoe, actually this is my perception... i used to do things that make me feel good but i know are bad, but now i know that feeling good and doing good, feels much better feeling free and surrounded by people that are spontaneous and sure of themselves is basic bliss, but i and only i know the truth of this feeling, a feeling a blissful thinking about a life without responsibilities.. i know this life cannot last, it cannot be a forever thing thats why i cherish it, i'm even hurting now just because i'm taking time to write this post about it... but i want to remember how much i had enjoyed how much i felt free... no more pain no more times where i felt like theres no reason, but there is a reason only one reason... actually two...one is to be in love, the other, living for this feeling, a feeling that cannot be erased, theres only one thins that could complete my life, i want to me my only one my one for me, the one that could make my life worth living for... i might have already but god can't be so cruel to let her pass by already could he, please, please god, don't let it be her... I want some thats not just another brick in the wall...

Take me out, be my scout before the drought...

No one has a right to write whatever on their blogs, yes its a medium of self expression but well, freedom of speech has a limit, and this limit has been reached by a certain person, and isnt right to be published, on any blog, no matter how u feel, keep it to urself at least just express it in a different manner.... blogspot sucks yooo....

Back to my life, well my life is a lil bit, unstable, yes thats the word, still the story of a boy on the lonely velvet road but now added abit of rotten eggs and rats runnin around. Always i've helped my fellow walking people, walking the same path, and yes i've been very considerate and not acting up lately, but still miss the tymes of sheer stupidity and harmful bodily activities, u know what i'm talking bout, miss the raves miss the people, but ofcourse their bad for what i must, need to whatever u call it "become what i must become" that sorta thing, people i have met say i have potential, have promise to become a great writer and all that bull shit.. of course i'm just a normal person suffering from severe psychotic Depression... or so they say.

They i'm reffering to is the machine that made that road that velvet one, and so these machine control life to be what it is, life...if u call this really life... doesnt matter u see there isnt a point fighting back, or at least showing that u fight, cold war is more effective and maybe to be the snake to be the fox. To comply yet rebel toward complicity, in silent and near non existent war... And we will achieve Equilibrium, and for that i fight, for not only me but my mind and my soul , for now i comply but in the future those machine will comply, when there isnt need for complicity, when compliance doesnt exist and when there isnt need of compliance towards the complicity of higher powers..

No more shall i be in this hold
this hold that is been on me
In this hold, i'm so cold
Break me Out so i can be free

This hold so strong
That i need to fly
that i need to belong
To the ever giving sky

For this to end,i will die
no more no less, to see the sun
To see the sky, i will fry
Oh no Oh no, just to see that beautiful sun

Its the end, yes its here
its finally come its finally me
Nothing to lose nothing to fear
No more no more, i'm finally free

We've been created to destroy ourselves

Red, Blue, Purple and Gray

Shades of colours pass by

As I turn upon the sky

Never had I felt so dead

As I cry down tears of Red

Never have I felt so cold

Never had I been so bold

To think the sky is Blue

And I held to you so true

Yes, there are people

Where their world is Purple

Never wondering why

Never knowing their world is a brilliant lie

And finally there is Gray

The colour that got lost in the fray

Not knowing how to die

When shades of colours pass by.

I am these colours in all, I am these meanings, I am lost all over again