Monday, October 24, 2011

Hear no pain,See no pain

the barren fields of my mind have been messed with these days, the perplexed foundation of my intuition has been tested. Do i live my life all over again, going through the things i have been through all over again. I dont want to but and then again someone makes me want to. It has been wonderland all over again for me in a limbo of repetition and adrenaline. Hope? no not much because too many secrets have been revealed too much tactics have been predicted. It all actually comes down to the time I want to spend with you, the time that i dont wanna hear the things u and him do or the times i dont wanna know how good he is. i wanna see u smile, i wanna see u laugh and i wanna see u look at me the way u look at me when u think i'm not looking. The constructions of a relationship comes from the comfort and stability of emotions. When the person with less baggage is to accept a person with more then it makes it unfair, even though the person is willing to accept it. I miss the life where i didnt need to care about how long i had left that everyday is waning down to the last. So i dont care whether u have him or not i dont care whether he knows or doesnt i only care about the light i see when u're around about the life i dream about with someone like u. Sometimes i doubt it sometimes i think u're right. The up's i can imagine would be very up but the downs the downs are the things i worry, that i'd break u because i'd break myself. To tell u how beautiful u are to me is impossible because i cant describe the beauty of ure eyes ur mouth ur skin and ur ears i cant see much cause well there are always these big things on the loool. I cant describe them because they're all beautiful in their different ways, their different lights. But u know whats best about the beauty of u? its the smile where u close your eyes and the smile when i make u laugh. These are your lights, the lights that make me hope that u'd think different of yourself. Even when i saw things earlier than u, doesnt mean i'm smarter doesnt mean i'm bigger, it only means that i have hurt more that i've seen more. Doesnt mean that you cant see things with me doesnt mean we cant share visions of beauty and times of hate but hey what am i dreamin on about its just that dreams give me hope. Then i realize i'm back sitting alone in the room, coming back to the reality of the life i live, or whats left of it.

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