My Perfect Time

Sejujurnya diriku masih mengharapkan mu. Still i have the pain i have to carry, 1 and a half years since i lost you and i cant begin to imagine if i had no hope of finding u again. I have loved you more than you could have ever known. i miss all of our hearts, our ups and our downs i miss u and all of your faults. Your faults are now to me ur best features. I cannot imagine how much pain ive gone through i cannot explain how many times ive died in my sleep, ow many times ive died when im awake. My mind is dead already, i cannot think i cannot live with the hope i hang on to and that hope is slowly but surely slipping away. i miss everything about u, and i hate that i have to say it. i hate it.


You were my perfect time, when we were all together and time passed ever so slowly. That was my perfect time. When i felt that my world revolved around yours and yours around mine. No one really reads this blog so it doesnt really matter. You are my everything now seeing your name on Facebook or on my phone, is devastating i left early that day its because i couldnt bare being around you. Lim Chin Lee. Spelling your name out sends shivers to my mind, to my bones and it stricken-ed my soul.  Im broken now but you were always my perfect time, and always will be. I want u to to know this, i hope u can see my words to u. I hope u will see this one day i hope that you would care. I really fucking miss you. If you would just talk to me! if i could just be near u, be ur friend i would do it. Anything u wish of me i'd be it whetehr it be a friend or a lover or a brother i'd be there. I just need u near me. I need u. Thats all i'll ever need. My perfect time.  


If i would meet u speak to u again, my words would be" Hello, ive missed u. wanna go for some lunch? then maybe we could catch up with our lives again and maybe just maybe i could learn how to live again" Her reply would be " HAH?! WHAT AH?" " Aw okay lo" and i would just smile.

If i could turn back time..i'd write a song and i'd sing it to you all those years ago.

i miss you so damn much, i really want to die.

i want to be back 3 years ago i want to be there and never leave i want it all back... give me one day just before i die.

The sincerity of the heart, and the darkness inside.

Show your worth, show that u're really sincere. I am but i cant show it, because i am weak and i am fragile and if i show u my mind and my heart, it'll break instantly. For i am broken already, for i am crushed by every cold shoulder, every passing eye and every shattering truth that reality throws at me. I am silent as of now for i do not want to be those idiots thriving for your body. En contra, I am thriving and seeking your mind and ultimately, your heart. I miss your smile. I miss how you're so stupid yet smart. I miss how u cant tell when i mean it or not. So this is for you as promised, straight from my heart.

The flowers bloom in my mind

When all the light doesn't shine

Funny how it is, I cannot see

That you dont see me

My heart wants this bad

but the world wants to see me sad

I hope and thats all i can do

Oh yes beautiful hope, please would u see me through

Belong to him you do

My hands are held out so true

I cannot be that man no more

Stealing hearts that i adore

Stealing away theirs fates

from their unsuspecting mates

I cannot do that no more

A window close and then opens a door

But love is selfish, love is cruel

Love is kind only to a fool

How can i find deep inside

Enough love for me to confide

To you the secrets of my mind

To you the passion of my kind

Will i be sober, and will i fight

Or will i run scattered into the night

In doubt i wait

In fear i state

As my heart bleeds

Your mind it feeds

Finally I end this little post

On a summer island coast

I am waiting empty inside

To find that my mind had already died,

Ni                                                                                                                                                                                                       kk

                                                                                                               i

 

Heartache and pain came pourin down like hail sleet and rain.

flaming rocks raining from the sky
like the devil when to heaven and wanted to cry
so i stumble there along the railings and the fences
hoping she'll come back to her senses

lights shining into my face
as she stumbles i give her the chase
and she holds me, whispers to me
of how much of an asshole i can be.

She wants me to be true
i act like i want it too
but deep inside i cant, i know i have to hide
hide the secrets i have inside

Cannot let her know i'm dead
that i died in the future instead
Cannot let her see my insides
insides of the dark and broken lights

My memories are scattered by the wind
All that i have seen and all i have sinned
The burial grounds of my mind
Lie here in this poem, and here i will dine

Dine on the flesh and security of you
You and your thoughts and all you hold true
Tear you limb from limb and eat your heart
The heart you hold so true like an apple fucking tart

But time and time again as i hold u in the dance floor
I put off these urges, i lock it up and close the door
because you mean the world to me
But who am i but another dead and evil zombie.

Goodbye my darling, i'll see you later
That's what i say as i step out of that crater
The meteor is my love for her smile and her laugh
I take my leave and i feed myself with one of the club's staff

I'll miss you my love and i take my leave
Those were the only words i was able to achieve
 My heart was saying " Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend"
Goodbye my life, i hope you understand.

Have the dying winds passed, have the moonless mornings shed its skin?

Under the the sky on darkest winds
have i the strength to carry these sins
may it be bright or sunny
digging these graves for a little money

roman troops head for the sky
as they soar blue tears they cry
feeling for a kingdom come
never to arrive the noises are dumb

we cannot see the sky ahead
no not like this in the river so dead
heading down this road so cold
how do u think our lives unfold

Someone see's a soul pass by
alone again its eyes awry
someone so close has thrown him away
into the cold, hard, stormy day

Never chosen to be the chosen one
our souls pass by the morning sun
Have you seen my soul anywhere
this heart torn boy his soul lay bare

remember always why u left this boy
remember always who u made a toy
and when we die we will always know
what we reap and what we sow

Time will tell but i know now
im not falling nor will i bow
u now know its not me u miss
so there will be no hugs, no words and no kiss

Remind me how, where and why
would i want to live your little lie
I am not your second place
i warn u now u will miss my adoring face

Someone never wants to be
to be caged and never set free
u are a cold blooded creature
still young, still fresh, so many features

I tell u now i will not play
play second fiddle in your deaf fray
Continue to treat me as you know
but let me tell u, u reap what u sow.

Change

will i be granted change of heart just as soon as she has a change of mind?

too late too late if she changes then, too late.

iire ithil coiasira elen re ar' tindomerel 

lohst 

goth l

ambe nwalme




it translates " when moon comes, day and night my enemy will torment me with words and i will not survive"


For when the time to change is lost, then forever the torture will last. For doubt in the mind will ask what if, "what if" i did change for the better what if i listened when it mattered, what if i made him proud before he was gone to the world and more importantly from me. 

It is these times

it is times like these i like to play

play with my heart and toss the hay

it is times like these where i think of you

you, the only one i have held true

It is times like these i want to hold your hand

Hand you everything, everything in the land

It is times like these i look into your heart

Heart of stone made me go off the charts

It is times like these when i see your eyes

eyes so bright they strew over the skies

It is times like these my heart jumps up

Up into the sky, and the world says goodbye

It is times like these i want to cry

cry when all i see is when u lie

It is the times when u feel like you're not good enough

enough for me and i tell u , u are as i make u laugh

It is times like these i pray

pray that u love me every single day

It is times like these i want to say i do

I do, i do, i do. I do want to love you

Sometimes, i feel i already do

already do love you.

Butterfly